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2003-04-29 - 7:05 a.m. My cat Moe has gone from being an independent outdoor cat to needy indoor one in the last 3 years. We've grown very close, much closer than he is with my boyfriend, his rightful owner. I've even written his theme music (since Quincy Jones retains the rights to Sanford and Son - Best theme song ever!) Its something along the lines of "Moe, Moe, the wonder cat. He is white, he is fat. Give him a chance he'll knock you flat...Moe, the wonder cat!" with choruses of "Big long Moe! He's really long. Big long Moe! He's also strong..." Okay, I'm not winning any awards in the song writing department (An aside: He's long Moe when he lies out full length for his belly rub - which he does when I compliment how long he is, I swear I'm not making this up) . So anyway, I adore Moe but I've got to say that I like my alone time too. Like, say, when I'm in the bathroom. But apparently to Moe this is "our special time" where I can fulfill his need to be scratched, petted and loved. I've tried locking him out but then its just scratch, scritch, scratch as he extends his little white paw under the door trying to jimmy it open. Have you ever had a cat jump on your lap while you're peeing at THREE in the MORNING? 'Cuz its quite the experience. I usually have to go at least once a night (Curses to you tiny bladder!) leaving the lights out so that I won't wake completely. Its a sort of conditioned sleepwalking. Anyway, panties around the ankles, barely awake, groping for the toilet tissue when out of nowhere this strange beast pounces. I react, springing up to defend myself, he extends his claws to hang on - to my flesh - I scream. And the result is that I, fully awake thank you, took my morning shower at 3 AM. Now I know what you are thinking...okay I don't, tell me... � 
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