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2002-11-19 - 12:00 p.m.

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Falling off the (Pizza) Wagon

About eight months ago I joined the cult that is WeightWatchers and became one of those people droning on about how wonderful and effective it was, weighing every portion, endlessly discussing point values, the merits of Kashi-Go-Lean Crunch cereal, different types of exercise, and how many glasses of water I drank that day.

It worked too. I lost 13 lbs and three dress sizes. One of my happiest moments was trying on a pair of size 6 pants at the GAP and finding out they were TOO BIG! (It was an outlet store so it may have been mis-marked but I wasn�t going to let such a thought crash my party) I bought all new clothes and, for once, I even took my T-Shirt off at the beach. In full sunlight! It was the summer of loving me.

Plus, it was fun in the cult (And don't try telling me its not a cult. Two words - Lifetime Member) We understood each others� need to incessantly discuss points as no one else could. I would call my fellow cult members and say things like, �I just had a four point meal and I�m full!� I pulled out my old air popper and started sneaking bags of my own popcorn into the movie theater.

But slowly I started to notice changes. The Points oriented OCD. I had to know the exact points value of every morsel of food or I went off the deep end. Which led to the Binge eating, because if I couldn�t count my points or I overindulged I went into a feeding frenzy. It was as if I had escaped from prison and needed to get all my fun in now before I got re-incarcerated. Then there was the Fiber=Flatulence fiasco. Vegetables are zero points because they are low calorie and high fiber. I started eating absurd amounts of roughage because it seemed like suddenly I was always hungry. Once I ate a whole bunch of celery, which was in addition to the whole pound of carrots I ate with lunch. Let�s just say not even I wanted to be around me that night.

Then I got tired of the weighing and the counting, of saving up my points for that one sweet treat on the weekend that was spent all too quickly. I missed pizza. That stuff they say about how you can have any food as long as you stay within your points range sounds great. But when you only get 18 to 23 points a day, trust me you aren�t going to waste 10 of them one 1 slice of pizza. It started slowly; there was a day here, a day there where I wouldn�t count points, but they were binge fests. I thought, �Great, I�m getting an eating disorder now.� I decided for my health�s sake I would stop counting all together in the hopes that I would eventually go back to eating normally.

But wait! Wasn�t my normal eating habits what got me into this mess to begin with? Yep, it was. So, I gained 2 lbs, then 3. Now I�m three quarters of the way back to my pre-WW weight.

Its Lady or the Tiger time! Behind one door is my closet filled with my fat clothes, behind the other is a WW meeting just waiting to introduce me back into the fold and toast my return with eight oz of H2O. Maybe there�s a window around here somewhere that I can climb out before my butt catches up with me.

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