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2005-04-08 - 9:52 p.m.

This week was Parent-Teacher conferences. It was a long week.

The conferences (in which only 13 parents showed up in total) either went something like this:

"Hello, Mrs. Blah blah blah, I'm Miss Alcohol. Your son/daughter is in my English class. . . or at least he/she is on paper. I haven't seen Blah blah since the first week of school. Did you receive either of the letters I sent to your home? When I didn't hear from you I also contacted the house para, you should have been contacted by her as well. While I'm sure that Blah blah is brilliant and a lovely person to boot, he/she simply cannot pass class if he/she isn't there. Please let lil' Blah blah know that he/she is welcome to come back to class and I will do everything I can to catch him/her up to speed. Thank you so much for coming in to see me, Mr. and Mrs. Blah blah. It was lovely meeting you.

Or it went something like this:

Hello, Mr/Mrs Troubled Child. Thank you for coming in. Your child seems quite capable...HOWEVER he/she needs to pay attention/stop talking/sit down/not hit the other students/do homework/participate in class/read the book/not bring porn into school. Of course your child is an angel at home, I don't doubt that for a moment. We'll try changing his/her seat again and see if that helps. Yes, they have homework in this class. It would be good if your child would make up the missing homeworks before grades are due.

And there was one:
Hi, Mr./Mrs. Good Student. Your son/daughter is an absolute delight to have in class. He/She has excellent attendance, pays attention in class, does homework, and does well on the tests. I have nothing bad to report. If only all my students were like him/her...


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