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2004-10-09 - 7:56 a.m. Thursday I gave my math class a test. I thought, "Whew, at least one day of silence where I won't feel like a limp rag at the end of the day." I thought wrong. The Assistant Principal had to come in to my class twice to tell them to stop talking. I had to send another kid to the dean's office. After all the dust settled, a new student came to me afterwards and told me, "Miss, you're a pretty cool teacher." I said, "Thank you, I try to be." Then he said, "Yeah, I don't know why all the other kids hate you." Yeah. Well, unfortunately, I do.
He tells me, "Well, you let them push your buttons - now they've got you exactly where they want you." And "You call home too much. Student X told me you call her house every night." "I called her house twice "- I protested. "And I only did that because I found out that she didn't live with her father whom I called the first time - so I called her grandparents." "Twice is too much" he said. What's more he told me X's father is going to lodge a complaint. Student Z is trying to get switched out of my class because, "You don't teach." He told me that I could get fired for having lost my cool and yelled - because yelling is corporal punishment." Meanwhile other teachers have told me that I need to call parents more often, that I need to yell more. So, whose advice am I supposed to take anyway. Its not like I want to yell - but I just lost it. Its ridiculous that kids can curse me out - but if I lose my patience and yell that's considered the same as if I hit them. Give me a break! If that is the case, then every new teacher should be given a bottle of xanax - because its impossible to never lose your cool trying to adjust to this job. In any case, Mr. English's "advice" didn't do much beside break my composure more - I actually had to go into the ladies room because I was beginning to cry - a fact that Mr. English pointed out loudly in the bar. "You're not crying are you?" Ugh. After I calmed myself enough to come back he finally gave me some actual help. He introduced me to two math teachers and asked them to help me with my lesson plans. Later though, one of the math teachers asked if he could buy me a drink or if I was okay. I had just had two sickeningly sweet margaritas and had gotten a headache so I said, "Oh thanks but I'm not drinking at the moment." And he walked away. A guy friend chastised me for "shooting him down so hard" I was horrified. I didn't mean to embarrass the guy or hurt his feelings - but I just didn't want a drink. In hindsight I see that I should've just ordered a coke or something but like I said, I just had two margaritas in rapid succession. I wasn't thinking clearly. Besides, I also didn't want to lead him on - as I do have a boyfriend. But still I'll try to track him down on Tuesday and apologize for being rude. � 
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