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2003-11-19 - 3:57 p.m. This week I went to the wake of Mrs-Roboto's dearly departed grandmother. On the heels of this sad event, my own dear old grandad is back in the hospital. Its not looking too good but not surprisingly since he doesn't really want to go on. He tells me that he is very much looking forward to being reunited with his wife and kids: a daughter and a son (my dad). I guess I'm kind of numb to this all right now because I don't really feel much of anything over it. I love my grandad but I feel that he has the right to go if that's how he wants it. My Mom is taking it much harder than either of us. She's off to her prayer group to "pray for a miracle" Maybe I'm callous but does anyone else think that prolonging the life of an 87 year old man worthy of a miracle? I'm sorry, but I'm voting for world peace or saving the children. Besides I think the miracle is that he's lasted this long. I'm not sure if its a lack of sentimentality or simply that this is so vastly different from my father's death that I feel so calm. When my dad passed away it was kicking and screaming, literally. The last words I heard him say was, "Please God don't let me die!" I was ashamed because here I had been praying for his death whilst he clung to life in spite of all his pain. So when my grampaw says, "I'm ready to go," I'm ready to let him. � 
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