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2003-10-26 - 11:00 p.m. Have I ever mentioned my deep and abiding love for all things Jesus? Yes, it is surprising coming from me the Anti-Religion queen. However as a friend once pointed out, Jesus was the first semi-naked man I encountered. He was bound to make a lasting impression. I grew up believing all the hype - the wine, the fishes and loaves, raising the dead. I was a devout little girl and Jesus did love me, this I know. When I gave up religion, for all intents and purposes I gave up God too. At least any interpretation of a god that included clouds and thunderbolts, pearly gates, evil apples, etc. But somehow I've never completely given up my belief in Jesus. I mean, maybe he was just plain crazy but at least it was a good kind of crazy, and who knows maybe he really was the son of God who, three days later, rose from the dead, ascended into heaven and all that jazz. After all, who am I to judge? Either way I've decided that there are a lot worse people I could choose to emulate - in a semi-irreverent sort of way naturally. My mom of course fails to see the humor in this but I own lots of cool Jesus paraphenalia; the Jesus Action Figure with Holy Roller Action, Jesus soap dispenser, Jesus nite lite (Let his light, light your way), Jesus Bobble Head Doll even my own personal Jesus - my boyfriend plays Jesus in his sketch comedy group. I plan to name my son Jesus Earl in the unlikely event that I get knocked up. See I figure if I'm among the one percentile of women who conceive while on oral contraceptives - well that's as close to a miracle as I'm ever gonna get. Plus, I'll finally get the answer to the eternal question "What would Jesus do?" Of course, the answer will probably involve poopy diapers. And who wouldn't want to be able to scream "Jee-Zus, you come in right now for supper or it'll be your last! Or how 'bout, "Just you wait till your father gets home, Jesus Earl!" I think the Earl is a nice touch, don't you? In any case, apparently I'm not alone in my love of the lord. Its seems that Jesus worship of the non-religious kind is a bona fide phenomenon spouting such sites as this . There's even a book about the phenomena - though I can't find the link right now. I guess there are a lot of people looking for role models right now, and who can blame them? � 
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