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2003-05-07 - 11:51 p.m. Since I failed to post much while I was moving I�ve got a glut of entries that I started to write but never got around to posting. This is one of them� While I was down in the Big Easy I learned of Ruthie the Duck Lady. Unlike New York, New Orleans appreciates, celebrates even, their crazy people. Ruthie was (by the time my friend moved there) a cantankerous old woman who wandered around town in a wedding dress and roller skates clutching a stuffed duck, and although she was a mean old girl, people felt compelled to give her food, drinks, cigarettes and even a ride home whenever she asked. In her prime, Ruthie, then the duck girl, had a flock of ducks that followed her everywhere she went. They had imprinted and thus to them she was their mother. For this Ruthie became not only famous but forever beloved. On hearing this I proclaimed that I would become a beloved crank in my dotage. But what would be my gimmick? Cats are overdone. And even though I saved one�s life down in NOLA, I�m not overly fond of birds (except penguins, those guys crack me up. Plus, you just can�t be angry watching penguins). Anyhoo, I decided on badgers, those cute, lovable creature that can kill a man with their claws. I figured what they lacked in friendliness, they made up for in the fear factor. Naturally, I would need to move to a small town where my fame (or infamy) would be welcomed as the tourist attraction I would become. I would terrorize the neighborhood but be loved for my eccentricity and the fact that I put my new home town on the map. And of course, I�d have to figure out a way to prevent the badgers from actually harming anyone, and bringing a group of angry villagers to my door carrying torches and shot guns. Plus, how would I get the badgers in the first place? Now, the plan was getting complicated. When I got back I caught up on my blog reading and found that Mrs-Roboto had similar thoughts. She is definitely on to something with her wiener dog idea. Logistically, they are easier to obtain (badgers being wild animals thus illegal and whatnot), easier to train, and let�s face it � have you heard of anyone being killed by a wiener dog? Besides that, I�ve always loved daschunds. I�ve even got a name picked out (Colonel Mustard, but I�d probably just call him �the Colonel�). But Mrs-R�s got dibs on that idea. Yesterday, I went to see Tom Robbins (the king of coincidence) read from his new novel, Villa Incognito, and it just so happens that the main character is a talking badger which I am taking as a cosmic sign that I should stick to my original plan � to become that crazy badger lady. Badgers!
Aren't they cute? Despite their claws that give them their awesome ability to kill, they are actually quite timid and gentle creatures. � 
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