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2003-03-17 - 7:33 p.m.

I feel like I should probably be writing a serious statement about the imminent war.

But I'm still living in denial at the moment so instead I'm going to be discussing an eminently less serious and more trivial topic, my love life. Actually to be even less current, its about a past love.

First, let me state for the record that I am aware of how incredibly stupid this sounds. After my previous BF and I split up, he started dating someone that we both knew and had been friendly with. I wouldn't call her a friend per se but certainly she was more than an acquaintance. It bothered me at the time, in fact, I had felt slightly betrayed and generally weirded out by both of them. Particularly since the BF had said all these horrible things about the woman while he and I were together. (I guess he doth protested too much)

In any case, five years have gone by. I have moved on, found my own new love and am happy. Far happier than I had ever been with him. So recently when I found out from a mutual friend that they were still together and blissfully happy, cohabitating, etc., I couldn't understand why it would bug me...yet it does.

I guess I just thought that she would be a transitional fling and then he would move on to someone I had no prior (or current) knowledge of.

The other thing is the idea that he might have shared intimate secrets about me with her. You know the stupid sort of things that you reveal to a guy that you THINK is going to be in your life forever. Its probably silly to worry about, I mean I don't really discuss my ex with my current bf but still I worry that he might let something slip...let's say if she ever felt threatened by me or even if she just asked.

So now I'm having that fantasy - you know the one - where you run into the ex and his new gf and you just happen to look incredible and they look like absolute shite. Yeah, because that would make it all better.

I know, I know...but I warned you this was going to be silly, superficial, and stupid. In any case, I guess I just wanted to put it out there in black and white so I could see how ridiculous I am being...

...but, still...it wouldn't be wrong to have a girly makeover day just in case, would it?

Drink of the Day: Monkey Wrench (or anything else with "bitters")

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