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2003-02-03 - 7:20 p.m.

In my mailbox today came the following letter:

Dear Ethel,

Thank you for your interest in the NYC Teaching Fellows. We greatly appreciate the time and energy you have devoted to this effort. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you a position with the Fellowship.

As you know, we receive many applications for the positions available, make the applicant pool for the Fellowship extremely competitiive. We would like to emphasize that your unsuccessful application to the Fellowship is not necessarily intended as a judgment on your ability to be effective in a new York City classroom; rather, it is solely a decision that the Fellowship is not the appropriate route for you. (I take some slight offense to the phrasing "not necessarily intended as a judgement" In other words, it could be. But don't mind me - I'm just sour graping.)

As an alternate route program, the Fellowship has an obligation to ensure that its Fellows will be able to assume difficult teaching assignments after intensive but brief initial training. The Fellowship recognizes that some individuals who are not accepted into our program may have great potential to serve effectively in the positions our program was created to fill, but may not be good candidates to assume those positions through such an accelerated route. We encourage all of our candidates to explore other routes into the classroom to find the one that best suits their experience and individual disposition.

We wish you the best in you future endeavors.

Needless to say this was a bitter disappointment. Guess I really did shank the interview as badly as I initially thought. Somehow, I still had this feeling of certainty that I was going to get this thing. As I try to escape this fog of disappointment please understand if it takes me a little while. I thank you all for your support and well wishes. It has been much appreciated.

Drink of the Day: Anything - Everything - and lots of it.

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