Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2002-12-11 - 11:41 a.m.

I've had a headache now for over a week. Eight straight days to be exact. Which is longer than some of my relationships and at least half of my plants and pets have survived so I've decided the time has come to name this thing. I call my headache Ron.

Like most men that I wish to get rid of, Ron started out as merely annoying. It was as if he had his fingers around my head and was squeezing, just slightly. So for the first few days that I had Ron I tried the usual remedies: aspirin, ibuprofen, Excedrin in varying combinations. But Ron didn't take the hint.

He hung in there, a hovering presence so slight that I occasionally forgot his presence during the hustle and bustle of my daily routines until those brief moments of peace and silence where Ron would make his presence known.

I tried alternative therapies. Natural remedies like raspberries (a reported natural anti-inflammatory), caffeine, yoga, stretching, acupressure (self applied), hot baths, cold compresses, even sex. Don't let the misconception fool you, good sex can occasionally cure a headache - unfortunately not Ron.

This weekend I started pulling out the big guns: prescription decongestants/expectorants in case its Sinus-related, muscle relaxants in case its tension. Well, I had a very speedy morning followed by a great nights sleep but when I awoke Ron was right there tapping on my skull.

Right now Ron is sitting on my neck like a monkey pounding a steel spike through my forehead between my puffy, pained eyes. I hate Ron. He's already hurt me almost as much as that awful ex who broke up our two year relationship over the phone with the inane observation that �You're everything I want in a woman except you.� Yeah, mull that one over for awhile and soon you too can have a Ron of your own!

In any case, Ron needs to go and since my attempts to self treat have been unsuccessful I guess I am going to have to call on a professional to help me remove Ron. Hopefully, it will not involve a bone saw since my deep seated fear is that Ron is actually more serious than I wish to believe. I keep repeating to myself Ah-nold style "It is not a Tumor!"

Drink of the Day: Anything that will make Ron leave! Suggestions?

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!